2. On the path of self-discovery

When in Architecture school, many budding designers contemplate the type of architecture they'd like to work on in their future. As a student, I could never really point to any single track. I was much more interested in ideas, theories, history and process and procedure then I was the actual final product. Don't get me wrong- I absolutely love design and space and creating an experience, but I realized I was much more of a thinker than a do-er. Let me think about how and why we create, and leave the actual manifestation to the do-ers. And that was OK. But, I've come to a point in my life, career, and education (because learning never ceases) that I need to be more aware about what ideas can actually produce realities.

My corporate job showed me that theres a long line of red tape, politics, and bittersweet office culture that go into the design and construction of large projects. Even the small ones seemed to be more problematic then rewarding. I may not have been a fan of this whole process and disappointing reality, but I sure did learn of its necessity. I guess changing the world one building at a time was a lot less likely for a lofty minded individual like myself. So what next? Where do I fall? Can I do this for 40 years and be happy at the end of each day? No Way.

I still haven't figured it out. What I have figured out is where I don't want to be. For a long time I have been following a path that is hardlined, established, and well traveled. I realized that since I started college, most of my adult decisions were either made for me, or I was in the right place at the right time and opportunity just sort of fell into my lap. Sure- things fall where they may... so I am not discounting the fact that I work really hard, try my best, and exhaust all resources to become successful. But if you follow someone else's path, and coast along, is that enough?

So- I am the seed floating through the wind, waiting to find the right place to plant myself. That place is a vessel filled with rich earth- I will not be buried in the earth's surface itself. I am the sapling in the grower's pot- ready to stay on the move, following the sun and moon, navigating the universe with my roots in the soil that I myself contain. The soil that gains nutrition from where ever I may chose. It may seem selfish to some- to refuse to settle, to refuse the establishment of traditional roots, to seek a life of wonderment and adventure. But someone I admire, someone who I cherish once told me to "always stay in hot pursuit". And although it is a scary, uncertain, and unpredictable future....its now the only future I can see.